chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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