My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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