that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
