i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
