At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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