We won't sleep together?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
cat food counts as protein by the way
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
