He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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