have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Enjoy the penises
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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