She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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