i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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