Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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