i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She needs sedatives and a leash
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
