Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The air taste purple.
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