you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
