I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
