Your dad touched me again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
