Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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