How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
