I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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