I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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