I wish I only lived at night.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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