We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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