I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
