Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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