You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
