he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
