I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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