i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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