Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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