woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
