One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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