I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
