Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
