I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize