I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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