I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
