Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
