I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.