Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it

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  (631): fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it http://tfl.nu/tjsq
  Replies (4) Good night (2080) Bad night (878)
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  (916): View more from California

  awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment

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  (916): awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment http://tfl.nu/ypy1
  Replies (35) Good night (489) Bad night (3363)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (172) Good night (5022) Bad night (17071)
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  (714): View more from California

  we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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  (714): we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career. http://tfl.nu/cw5m
  Replies (18) Good night (752) Bad night (3735)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.

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  (304): Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/67fb
  Replies (20) Good night (4226) Bad night (1058)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out

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  (418): I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out http://tfl.nu/dee8
  Replies (7) Good night (3351) Bad night (1667)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

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  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1261) Bad night (5309)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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  (574): Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive http://tfl.nu/wu3i
  Replies (8) Good night (902) Bad night (2949)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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  (210): Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe. http://tfl.nu/6jsr
  Replies (14) Good night (2756) Bad night (712)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.

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  (386): well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake. http://tfl.nu/2ev4
  Replies (8) Good night (2822) Bad night (731)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.

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  (334): It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls. http://tfl.nu/cfx1
  Replies (7) Good night (1996) Bad night (762)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..

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  (978): I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital.. http://tfl.nu/5pzt
  Replies (5) Good night (2183) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

  (563): View more from Iowa

  1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

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  (641): So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight? (563): 1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World http://tfl.nu/s9cv
  Replies (4) Good night (1749) Bad night (1169)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...

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  (540): So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day... http://tfl.nu/14rg
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"

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  (802): when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us" http://tfl.nu/ho4p
  Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (398)

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