Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (1780)
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(818): View more from California

Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

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(818): Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire. http://tfl.nu/r0t1

Replies (39) Good night (884) Bad night (3110)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me

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(978): I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me http://tfl.nu/0njw

Replies (8) Good night (1038) Bad night (4329)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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(303): I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete. http://tfl.nu/q4l5

Replies (19) Good night (4694) Bad night (1170)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.

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(401): Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday. http://tfl.nu/wqr0

Replies (6) Good night (2952) Bad night (898)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

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(513): Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything. http://tfl.nu/e1ys

Replies (84) Good night (1968) Bad night (6819)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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(615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059

Replies (8) Good night (1343) Bad night (666)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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(502): The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him. http://tfl.nu/w8du

Replies (13) Good night (1942) Bad night (667)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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(615): I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls. (1-615): Who in tha hell do u hang out with? http://tfl.nu/cxra

Replies (5) Good night (2055) Bad night (609)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.

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(719): I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon. http://tfl.nu/f6i1

Replies (6) Good night (1795) Bad night (534)
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(760): View more from California

The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.

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(760): The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here. http://tfl.nu/qr6c

Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (873)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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(910): There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home http://tfl.nu/98yp

Replies (10) Good night (1262) Bad night (472)
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.

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(917): I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over. http://tfl.nu/bs45

Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (321)
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(713): View more from Texas

you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.

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(713): you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss. http://tfl.nu/b25s

Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (496)
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(242): View more from Bahamas-Carib

I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.

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(242): I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/7m2e

Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (444)

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