Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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  (828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d
  Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (828)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"

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  (214): I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night" http://tfl.nu/h7ul
  Replies (14) Good night (2138) Bad night (648)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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  (603): You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular? http://tfl.nu/marg
  Replies (7) Good night (2309) Bad night (570)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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  (860): isnt it creepy that our bodies make people http://tfl.nu/vg9u
  Replies (98) Good night (6039) Bad night (914)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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  (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw
  Replies (47) Good night (8518) Bad night (807)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.

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  (708): she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress. http://tfl.nu/x8tu
  Replies (7) Good night (3572) Bad night (1105)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

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  (330): The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops. http://tfl.nu/2l9n
  Replies (11) Good night (4621) Bad night (1112)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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  (406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g
  Replies (12) Good night (4589) Bad night (1087)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you seemed to enjoy falling down hill

  (540): View more from Virginia

  wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint

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  (703): you seemed to enjoy falling down hill (540): wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint http://tfl.nu/kb4o
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (603)
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  (619): View more from California

  Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.

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  (619): Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess. http://tfl.nu/w4br
  Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (462)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.

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  (214): Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed. http://tfl.nu/czkr
  Replies (8) Good night (609) Bad night (1381)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...

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  (+32): You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep... http://tfl.nu/47cg
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.

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  (423): I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT. http://tfl.nu/s23s
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (249)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.

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  (989): Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad. http://tfl.nu/i278
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (215)
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  (760): View more from California

  I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.

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  (760): I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL. http://tfl.nu/3gpf
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (234)

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