Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?

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  (248): Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML? http://tfl.nu/ajh1
  Replies (106) Good night (23282) Bad night (1152)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor

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  (480): naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor http://tfl.nu/fgya
  Replies (16) Good night (758) Bad night (3541)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  only you. it could only happen to you.

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  (617): so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it (1-617): only you. it could only happen to you. http://tfl.nu/wr6i
  Replies (32) Good night (1241) Bad night (4671)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

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  (217): you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out http://tfl.nu/t2x9
  Replies (42) Good night (11181) Bad night (1498)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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  (252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f
  Replies (18) Good night (1361) Bad night (4115)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

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  (815): I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed? http://tfl.nu/umcp
  Replies (13) Good night (4122) Bad night (1510)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

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  (301): do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit? http://tfl.nu/0117
  Replies (6) Good night (1300) Bad night (693)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

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  (215): It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke http://tfl.nu/1v10
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (1373)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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  (828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76
  Replies (9) Good night (1290) Bad night (436)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  How did work go after you told them you were in jail?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Great they tried to bail me out.

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  (720): How did work go after you told them you were in jail? (402): Great they tried to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/vh27
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (304)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?

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  (347): Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it? http://tfl.nu/mhp5
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (369)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating

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  (785): This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating http://tfl.nu/xcs8
  Replies (11) Good night (469) Bad night (785)
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  (212): View more from New York

  him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.

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  (212): him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/e6pv
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (549)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.

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  (440): Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday. http://tfl.nu/90jw
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (327)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards

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  (908): I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards http://tfl.nu/y8zl
  Replies (3) Good night (252) Bad night (273)

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