hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
