I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
