drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
birth control should be required to get into college
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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