so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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