worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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