ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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