The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
