their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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