Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
