I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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