This gyro tastes like lonliness
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
