that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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