I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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