If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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