Quick, to the slutcave!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
