There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize