is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
