I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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