She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
