I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you didnt know i had herpes?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
