ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
