You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
