That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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