the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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