Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
