look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
